What a Friday

I had to run a prelim today where the client was charged with having drugs in his possession while in county custody. Said drugs (crack) were up my clients butt. They were discovered during a routine strip search after my client was transferred from one facility to another. He had a latex glove, with the drugs inside, sticking out of his booty.

Yeah, that's right. I said the crack was up his butt.

The highlight of my day was hearing the cop say, on direct, "He told me he needed a toilet to 'shit it out.'"

Wow. Had it been my case, I would have just waived prelim, since there were NO ISSUES whatsoever. The client wants to get his strike stricken (The offer was low term, doubled) and I don't know if that is going to happen since his strike isn't really all that old. So, I would have chosen NOT to do the prelim, since the dude has no triable issues.

I mean, hello, can you be in more possession of an item than one that is up your butt??? It isn't like those cases where a client, who is found with drugs in the pocket of their pants, tells you "Those weren't MY pants. I was wearing my friend Crack Head Bill's pants. I didn't know it was in there! I sweeeaaaar!" I mean, drugs don't accidentally or without your knowledge end up in your ass.

Right?!

Sadness

I met a 25 year old girl yesterday charged with her first DUI. She blew a .29 BAC. She smelled of alcohol at 9:00am. I saw her life flash before my eyes, and it wasn't pretty.

Sometimes, my job is just sad.

Things I have learned as a Public Defender

Never trust a colleague who thrusts a file in your hand at 4:00pm on Friday afternoon and says, "This client is a custody plea. Everything is ready to go. It is time served. Totally simple. Gotta run...byyyyeee!"

You should never believe a colleague who feeds you this line because they will commonly leave shit out like, oh, I don't know:

• The client is crazy
• They neglected to tell the client about the restraining order
• That when said client hears about the restraining order, ya know, for the first time on the record, that the client is going to FREAK the fuck out
• The client is crazy
• The client is crazy

OMG!!!

We won one! We won one!!



Go read Arizona v. Gant immediately.



Here is the holding of The US Supremes:
"Police may search the passenger compartment of a vehicle incident to a recent occupant’s arrest only if it is reasonable to believe that the arrestee might access the vehicle at the time of the search or that the vehicle contains evidence of the offense of arrest."

This of course will not stop the cops from just saying that every search is consensual and win anyway, but still!! Hooray for The Fourth Amendment!

woah

All I can say is that if Bai Ling was my client, I would certainly have to declare a doubt.

Read this interview IMMEDIATELY.

I wonder

Sometimes I think that my only function as a public defender is to cloak the sins of an unjust system. Since I am there, in a courtroom with two prosecutors against me (the one in the suit at counsel table and the one in the robe on the bench), I give the illusion that things are fair, when in fact they are anything but. All I can do is fight back and make noise, but ultimately the system marches right over top of me and my clients.

Sometimes I just feel like a pawn.

Sorry, it was a bad day :(

Overheard in court

"But, Ms. Dixit, why would the police officer lie?" -- My bench officer! This is never a good sign during arguments in a motion to suppress.

I am too exhausted to detail the steaming pile of injustice that was served up in court today, sufficed to say that no matter how big of a liar the cop clearly is, my judge will NEVER question their credibility.

I want to go to there!

Yessssss I know I have been a bit lax in my posting as of late. Cut me some slack, I drive 60 miles each way to work. You know what would cheer me up and wash all my cares away? A trip here:

The Museum of Bad Art!

A museum whose moto is "Art too bad to be ignored," sounds freakin' awesome to me. Check out some of the masterpieces contained in this delightful establishment:

If I ever get to Dedham, MA this is the first place I am going!